How To Avoid A Savings Account

If you're a B of A customer like me, you're probably constantly badgered to open a savings account. They'll pepper you with annoying gems like "You're not saving for your future." and, "Why do you have three checking accounts under three hundred dollars?" and "No, you can't use the bathroom." Well, here are some tried and true methods to get out of opening that savings account.

Bank Teller: Would you like to open a savings account today?

You: Sorry, I don't speak English.

Bank Teller: Would you like to open a savings account today?

You: Nah, all my money's tied up in dirt holes right now.

Bank Teller: Would you like to open a savings account today?

You: No, that's okay. I'm probably going to kill myself pretty soon. I'll take a pamphlet, though.

Bank Teller: Would you like to open a savings account today?

You: Savings account?? What is this, the '80's??

Bank Teller: Would you like to open a savings account today?

You: Have you heard the Good News?

Bank Teller: Would you like to open a savings account today?

You: Um, sure, but let me ask my mom first. She's at Zumba class now. Quick question, where are your lollypops?

Bank Teller: Would you like to open a savings account today?

You: Lady, my penis is killing me. Can we hurry this up, please?

Bank Teller: Would you like to open a savings account today?

You: Sorry, I need to be kind of liquid now. Pog season's coming.

Bank Teller: Would you like to open a savings account today?

You: Actually, I save all my money in this pig bank at home... heh, heh, heh... sorry, I was thinking about the funny face on my pig bank... Hehe...........heh.........................AHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

How To Avoid A Savings Account