Sunday, January 31, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
Megaboom: Fantastic Max vs. Bag Full of Glue
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Megaboom: Brent Goes to a Party, the Studio Floods, and Clip Machine
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Sex Robot Lars Vista
A man in New Jersey invented a sex robot. The biggest surprise wasn’t that it was invented in Japan, but that they used Lars’ voice. Get ready for a weird show. Speaking of weird shows, apparently, the Today show was originally hosted by Garrison Keillor and a chimpanzee. Sarah Palin has a new show where she finds out what America cares about. One step ahead of you crazy big head moose lady. Finally, Jennifer Love Hewitt suggests bedazzling your vagina. Don’t have a vagina? Thank God. Right now, do it.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Mojito, the Time Traveling Latin Pool Boy
Kesha should never be interviewed by old people. Lars and Eliana escape the Doomsday clock with the help of McCafes while Cioffi prepares the nerd revolt against the evil empire of Brent’s monotone. Another episode of Cragslist Crap, helmed by local comedian Kate Frisbee, introduces us to Mojito, the time traveling Latin pool boy. Some people are getting depressed after watching Avatar. We make fun of them. Finally, who the hell writes family circus?
Monday, January 18, 2010
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Friday, January 15, 2010
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Megaboom: Jet Toilet Dreams, Hippos, and the Clip Machine!
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Woodland Journal: Hunting Technique
Day 41:
Well, I can't believe all the venison is gone... but it is. The good news is that it looks like that crazy plant disease is subsiding (the one that made vegetation bleed black and scream like a baby when you take a bite). No secret how I found that out. I really have to stop falling with my mouth open. Anyway, I guess it's back to peat moss for me... oh no (chuckle). Wow, sarcastic eye-rolls are hard to write out.
Having spent the last few weeks as a hunter, I feel a little weird about going back to plants. I was getting so good at hunting! However, I prefer plants, as long as they're not bleeding and screaming at me -- which all animals do, crazy disease or no.
On the off chance that I have to start hunting again, I have decided to detail my methods here.
Step 1: Find animals. If you know where they are, great. If not, listen for animal sounds. They usually sound like, "Oooh! Oooh! Ah, ah, ah!" or "Caw! Caw!" or "Hey, Jim... you see that pair of eyes with the knife staring at us through the leaves?"
Step 2: Attack! You'd be surprised how little a weapon matters for most animals. Some kinds of birds will just be so shocked, they'll have a heart attack and fall down right there. However, if the animal looks mean, sharp, or toothy, you'll probably want a weapon. My weapon of choice? The boulder. Around here, there are plenty of them. Just find some high ground and push. You don't even need to be super precise because most animals walk INTO the path of the boulder. They must think, "Hey, what's that thing rolling towards me? That looks exciting. I think I'll say hello."
Step 3: Eat. I bet a lot of people prepare the food they eat ahead of time (i.e. cut away fur, cook meat, etc.) but I take care of that by making all my attacks by the ole fire pit, so they just fall right in. They're cooked by the time I get down there. And I always attack clean, hairless animals, like pigs and penguins and such.
Alright, better go dig up some peat moss. A lot of it is still obscured by the black blood, but it actually brings out that rich, peaty taste... still, if it would rain soon that would be great.
Well, I can't believe all the venison is gone... but it is. The good news is that it looks like that crazy plant disease is subsiding (the one that made vegetation bleed black and scream like a baby when you take a bite). No secret how I found that out. I really have to stop falling with my mouth open. Anyway, I guess it's back to peat moss for me... oh no (chuckle). Wow, sarcastic eye-rolls are hard to write out.
Having spent the last few weeks as a hunter, I feel a little weird about going back to plants. I was getting so good at hunting! However, I prefer plants, as long as they're not bleeding and screaming at me -- which all animals do, crazy disease or no.
On the off chance that I have to start hunting again, I have decided to detail my methods here.
Step 1: Find animals. If you know where they are, great. If not, listen for animal sounds. They usually sound like, "Oooh! Oooh! Ah, ah, ah!" or "Caw! Caw!" or "Hey, Jim... you see that pair of eyes with the knife staring at us through the leaves?"
Step 2: Attack! You'd be surprised how little a weapon matters for most animals. Some kinds of birds will just be so shocked, they'll have a heart attack and fall down right there. However, if the animal looks mean, sharp, or toothy, you'll probably want a weapon. My weapon of choice? The boulder. Around here, there are plenty of them. Just find some high ground and push. You don't even need to be super precise because most animals walk INTO the path of the boulder. They must think, "Hey, what's that thing rolling towards me? That looks exciting. I think I'll say hello."
Step 3: Eat. I bet a lot of people prepare the food they eat ahead of time (i.e. cut away fur, cook meat, etc.) but I take care of that by making all my attacks by the ole fire pit, so they just fall right in. They're cooked by the time I get down there. And I always attack clean, hairless animals, like pigs and penguins and such.
Alright, better go dig up some peat moss. A lot of it is still obscured by the black blood, but it actually brings out that rich, peaty taste... still, if it would rain soon that would be great.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Friday, January 8, 2010
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Monday, January 4, 2010
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