Well, I can't believe all the venison is gone... but it is. The good news is that it looks like that crazy plant disease is subsiding (the one that made vegetation bleed black and scream like a baby when you take a bite). No secret how I found that out. I really have to stop falling with my mouth open. Anyway, I guess it's back to peat moss for me... oh no (chuckle). Wow, sarcastic eye-rolls are hard to write out.
Having spent the last few weeks as a hunter, I feel a little weird about going back to plants. I was getting so good at hunting! However, I prefer plants, as long as they're not bleeding and screaming at me -- which all animals do, crazy disease or no.
On the off chance that I have to start hunting again, I have decided to detail my methods here.
Step 1: Find animals. If you know where they are, great. If not, listen for animal sounds. They usually sound like, "Oooh! Oooh! Ah, ah, ah!" or "Caw! Caw!" or "Hey, Jim... you see that pair of eyes with the knife staring at us through the leaves?"
Step 2: Attack! You'd be surprised how little a weapon matters for most animals. Some kinds of birds will just be so shocked, they'll have a heart attack and fall down right there. However, if the animal looks mean, sharp, or toothy, you'll probably want a weapon. My weapon of choice? The boulder. Around here, there are plenty of them. Just find some high ground and push. You don't even need to be super precise because most animals walk INTO the path of the boulder. They must think, "Hey, what's that thing rolling towards me? That looks exciting. I think I'll say hello."
Step 3: Eat. I bet a lot of people prepare the food they eat ahead of time (i.e. cut away fur, cook meat, etc.) but I take care of that by making all my attacks by the ole fire pit, so they just fall right in. They're cooked by the time I get down there. And I always attack clean, hairless animals, like pigs and penguins and such.
Alright, better go dig up some peat moss. A lot of it is still obscured by the black blood, but it actually brings out that rich, peaty taste... still, if it would rain soon that would be great.
0 comments:
Post a Comment